Well, every time I think this guy is 'dead', that he has twigged to the joke, he bounces back. Is he thick? Or is he just playing me along?
Dear Mr. Newberry,
Thank you for the death certificate you sent to me, though it did not still solve the problem that we are facing.
I have been in Cotonou, Benin Republic to discuss with the security company on the death of Mr. Don Quixote so that we can change the ownership of the deposits and claim it. Unfortunately, the company turned me down and insisted that I should contact the next-of-kin to Mr. Don Quixote to come and make the claim on his behalf. (Aren't they inconsiderate bastards!)
In this regards, I decided to come back to you and explain this situation once again to you for assistant. You are the only person I know that I can contact in this respect and I believe that you are the only person that can help to solve this problem. (You know what you have to do Nelson...)
Your physical present is highly required by the company in this matter before any thing can be done. If you cannot come, you can just introduce me to Mr. Don Quixote next-of-kin and I will discuss it with the person. This is a very big problem we need to solve urgently because the security company will keep charging some money daily on the deposits if it is not claimed.
What do we do please? Things are getting out of control now. Can I call you? Please give me your telephone number and I will call you. (No.)
Nelson Kalu Esq.